The blog’s back. I bring oats. You bring forgiveness.
I know.
It’s been a while.
You’re probably expecting an explanation, or an emotional revelation, or at the very least, a cryptic message in binary.
Instead… I bring you flapjacks.
I didn’t plan to disappear. It just happened the way most things do — slowly, then all at once.
Like forgetting to reply to a message. Or watching the golden syrup expire in your cupboard and thinking, “God, same.”
Anyway. I’m back. Sort of. At least for today.
And I made flapjacks. They were flat. They were chewy. They didn’t fix my life, but they stuck together, and honestly? That felt like enough.
Here’s the recipe.
Flapjacks for When You’re Flapping (Emotionally)
Ingredients:
- 200g porridge oats
- 100g unsalted butter
- 100g light brown sugar
- 2–3 tbsp golden syrup
- Pinch of salt
- Optional: chocolate chips, dried fruit, or regrets from 2016
Method:
- Preheat your oven to 180°C (160°C fan) and line a baking tin.
Mine was too big, which felt poetic. - Melt the butter, sugar and syrup in a pan over low heat until it looks like emotional glue.
- Remove from heat. Stir in the oats, salt, and any extras.
(I added chopped dates. Because I, too, am trying to sweeten the past.) - Press into your tin with the soft determination of someone pretending it’s fine.
- Bake for 18–20 minutes until the edges are golden and the centre is uncertain about its identity.
- Cut into squares while still warm. Let them cool fully before removing, or they’ll fall apart.
Like you did. Last Tuesday.
I ate three straight from the tray. One for hunger. One for spite. One because it was there.
They didn’t change anything. But they tasted like something I made on purpose.
And right now, that’s more than I expected from myself.
I might post again soon. Or not.
But the flapjacks happened. And I’m still here.
So maybe we’re moving forward. Slowly. Like syrup in winter.
P.S.
Alfie says he’s writing a cookbook.
It’s called “Recipes for the Emotionally Unstable and Slightly Possessed.”
I told him that’s already my brand. He didn’t respond. Just started formatting headings in HTML.
So… that’s probably fine.